Understanding Body Types

Your Body Was Never Meant to Look Like Hers, Understanding Body Types, Midlife Reality, and Protecting Our Kids From a Culture Obsessed With Shrinking

I’ve been in the fitness industry for almost 17 years. And for a while, I genuinely celebrated that we had finally crawled our way out of the “SKINNY AT ALL COSTS” era.

We made it.

• We were celebrating strength.

• We were celebrating muscle.

• Women were stepping into the gym with confidence, not fear.

• Women were proud to pick up weights.

• Women finally believed “strong is the new skinny.”

And now?

I feel like we’re sliding backward — fast.

Skinny is creeping its way back in… and women are shrinking themselves again — literally and emotionally.

Women who once had strong, healthy physiques…

• Strong backs

• Visible muscle

• Energy

• Confidence

• LIFE in them

…are now suddenly half the size — and not in a “my metabolic health improved!” way, but in a “my muscle is gone and now I’m fragile” way.

This isn’t just aesthetics. This is health. Because muscle isn’t vanity.

Muscle is brain health.

Muscle is longevity.

Muscle is metabolic protection.

Muscle is stability, vitality, independence, and aging well.

When you lose muscle, you don’t just get smaller — you get weaker.Your brain suffers. Your bones suffer. Your hormones suffer.Your RESILIENCE suffers.

The Wicked Text-Chain (And Why I’m More Worried Than Ever)

My daughter and her friends have seen the newest Wicked movie. They loved it. 

And then… the group chat started blowing up:

“Did you see how skinny they were??”

“They were SO skinny.”

“They must be on Ozempic.”

Thirteen-year-olds. Already noticing — AND questioning — the extremes.

And while I’m glad they noticed it felt wrong, do you know what scared me?

They STILL noticed.

They STILL commented.

They STILL absorbed the message.

Kids don’t learn comparison at 13. They learn it when they watch US at 35… 38… 42…

They see:

• Moms starting new diets

• Moms shrinking

• Moms praising thinness

• Moms hating their stomachs

• Moms chasing numbers

• Moms comparing bodies

• Moms talking about goal weights

Our daughters see it.  Our sons see it too. And the bottom line?

I am not okay with chasing SKINNY.  I want my daughter to see me chase HEALTH.

This Isn’t Just About My Daughter — It’s About My Boys, Too

And I need to say this because it matters:

I’m not just a mom of a daughter. I’m also raising boys — young men growing up in the same cultural pressure cooker.

A culture that tells boys:

• To have six-pack abs

• To be lean year-round

• To never show softness• to “perform” with their bodies

• To attach their value to aesthetics

And boys learn how to treat women by watching how their mother treats herself and how their father treats their mother.  

If I nitpick my thighs?

They learn women should nitpick theirs.

If I chase skinny?

They learn skinny is “better.”

If I speak negatively about my body?

They learn women’s worth is tied to appearance.

I don’t want that for them.

I want my boys to grow up seeing:

• A mother who is capable

• Q mother who lifts heavy things

• A mother who skis mountains.A mother who fuels her body

• A mother who rests without guilt

• A mother who does not SHRINK herself to be acceptable.

Because I want them to become men who value:

Health over thinness

Strength over aesthetics

Identity over appearance

Character over image.

This is not just about protecting our daughters.This is about shaping our sons.This is about changing the culture.

Body Types Are Real — And You Cannot Hate Your Way Into a Different Skeleton

Women are comparing their lived-in, hormonal, midlife bodies to:

• 18-year-old Broadway dancers

• 5'10" influencers with surgically sculpted features

• Actresses with chefs, trainers, and lighting

• Genetically thin body types

• Women with completely different bone structures

It’s not just unfair — it’s biologically impossible.

Body type is not a mindset issue. Body type is biology:

• Rib cage width

• Pelvis shape

• Limb length

• Bone density

• Muscle fiber makeup

• Hormone profile

• Metabolic tendencies

You can’t “tone” your way into a different skeleton. But you CAN build the strongest, healthiest, most capable version of the body God handcrafted for YOU.

My Own Story (Because I’m Not Immune Either)

Let me be real with you:

I coach women every day.

I know the science.

I teach this for a living.

And STILL…There are days the scale makes me pause.

Because here’s the truth: I weigh more than most women my size — because I’m more muscular.

My clothes fit well.

My body is strong.

My frame is compact and powerful.

And yet that little voice still whispers: “Shouldn’t the number be lower?”

Even coaches need a reminder.  Even coaches are human.

Midlife Isn’t the Time to Shrink — It’s the Time to Reinforce

Your 40s are NOT the decade to chase your lowest adult weight.

They are the decade to chase:

• Muscle

• Stability

• Metabolic health

• Brain health

• Bone density

• Vitality

• Independence

Shrinking might look cute on Instagram… but it looks TERRIBLE on bone scans, hormone panels, and DEXA reports.

The God Piece: Your Body Was Designed on Purpose — Not for Comparison

There’s something I need to say here, and it comes straight from my faith:

God did not accidentally give you the body you have.

He wasn’t distracted the day He knit you together.

He wasn’t undecided about your bone structure.

He wasn’t unsure about your muscle density.

He wasn’t confused about your height or your hips or your shoulders.

Your body type is not a mistake.

Your build is not a flaw.

Your frame is not a problem to solve.

It was intentional.

Purposeful.

Designed for the exact life you’re meant to live.

And I say this gently, but truthfully:

When we waste our lives trying to shrink into someone else’s blueprint, we step out of alignment with the one God actually wrote for us.

The Enemy Loves a Woman Distracted by Her Body

This is something I’ve witnessed over and over again in my work:

A woman who is consumed with comparison is too exhausted to live her calling.

But a woman who understands her body is equipment — not decoration?

A woman who nourishes it…  trains it…strengthens it…and honors it?

She is strong.

She is clear.

She is grounded.

She is dangerous — in the best, Kingdom-building way.

Faith: The Foundation of Why This Matters So Much

Here’s the deeper truth:

God did not accidentally give me this body — and He did not accidentally give my kids the mother they have.

My daughter needs a mother who refuses to shrink.My boys need a mother who treats her body with respect —so they grow into men who respect women deeply.

My kids need to see a mom who honors her design, because it teaches them to honor theirs.

This is discipleship through how we live in our bodies —not just what we say.

A Prayer for Every Woman Reading This

Lord,

Thank You for the body You designed for me — its strength, its purpose, its resilience, its story.

Help me stop fighting the frame you handcrafted and start honoring it with the way I move, eat, think, and speak.

Protect my mind from comparison.

Protect my daughter’s mind from the lies of culture.

Protect my boys’ hearts as they learn what strength and respect look like.

Guard our home from the belief that “smaller is better.”

Grow in all of us a spirit of strength, stewardship, gratitude, and confidence.

Help me model a life that chooses health over shrinking and purpose over pressure.

Make me a woman who is free — and let that freedom be the loudest lesson my children learn.

Amen.

Understanding Body Types, FAQ's

How do I stop comparing my body to women built totally differently?

Acknowledge the truth: body types are real.

Your job isn’t to match another body — your job is to maximize YOURS.

Can my midlife body really get stronger, even with changing hormones?

YES. In fact, strength training is your biological superpower in midlife.

What if I want to lose weight but not become “skinny-skinny”?

Focus on fat loss, not muscle loss.

More protein. More strength. Better hormones.

How do I talk to my kids about this without making it weird?

Model more than you lecture.

Let them see you lift.

Let them see you fuel.

Let them hear you speak kindly about yourself.

Understanding Body Types, Midlife Reality, and Protecting Our Kids From a Culture Obsessed With Shrinking