The Truth About My Alcohol-Free Journey (And Why It Changed Everything)

There’s no graceful way to tiptoe into this, so let’s just go all in:

My alcohol-free journey didn’t start with rock bottom: it was more of a whisper.

A quiet, persistent little voice that said:

“Life might feel different without alcohol… Maybe even better.”

And honestly? I ignored it for years.  But the whisper kept coming back.

My “Eras” of Not Drinking

This wasn’t a one-and-done decision. It was a slow unraveling… and a slow awakening.

• 2018: Dry January

• 2019: 90 days without alcohol

• 2020: Six entire months alcohol-free in 2020

• 2022: several 30-day “breaks.” 

• 2024: the final whisper

It felt like God was tugging at me, not in a dramatic way, but in the quiet, steady way He tends to get my attention.

Not because I was a heavy drinker.Not because I couldn’t control it.But because every time I stepped away, my life got better.

And then… the science started clicking.  Grace found me. And the growth started happening.

A Little Honest Truth Here

Most people who knew me would say:

“Oh Hollie? She didn’t have a problem.” And technically, that’s true.

I wasn’t a weekday drinker.  Some Fridays, I’d have one or two drinks.

But if I’m being honest with you — and with myself — there were times when I didn’t stop after two.

There’s a reason I was (half-playfully, half-shamefully) nicknamed:  “One More Beer Hollie.”

I hated that nickname.  Because beneath the laugh was a truth:

Sometimes I didn’t want the night to end, and I didn’t know how to make it end.

Moderation was hard for me.

Not every time — but sometimes.

And that was enough for me to pay attention.

The Hangovers That Weren’t Just Hangovers

My husband used to say:

“Hollie, I swear you’re allergic to alcohol.”

I’d laugh. but in my 30s… the reaction got worse. And worse.

I wasn’t just hungover — I was inflamed. Puffy. Miserable. Off.

And the truth is, I have NEVER done well with alcohol.  In college, I was always the friend still in bed because I felt so terrible from the night before, despite drinking the same as everyone else.  

Turns out, there’s science behind this:

The Histamine Problem

Alcohol is a huge histamine trigger.

Perimenopause is a huge histamine trigger.

Low progesterone is a huge histamine trigger.

Which means midlife women often go from tolerating alcohol just fine to suddenly reacting like their body is on fire.

Alcohol:

• Releases histamine

• Blocks your ability to clear histamine

• Spikes inflammation

• Disrupts sleep

• And makes perimenopause symptoms 10x worse

Add declining hormones? Your tolerance plummets.

I finally understood why even “just two drinks” made me feel wrecked for 48 hours.

And then — this still makes me laugh — I remembered a woman at a work event using “wine purifier strips” to make wine easier to drink.

She was literally trying to remove histamines because her body was in crisis.

Friendships, Alcohol, and Hard Truths

People always ask:

“Did your friendships change when you stopped drinking?”

Yes. They did.

Some drifted… and honestly, those friendships were already fragile. Alcohol had been the glue. Once I stepped back, I realized the dynamics weren’t healthy.

For some friendships, there was a quiet unraveling and now I see it as God clearing space. Sobriety made the healthy relationships healthier and revealed the ones that were paper-thin.

My Husband’s Story — And Why Today Means So Much

This part gets me emotional. Because today? I am celebrating my husband being ONE YEAR alcohol-free.(I don’t even think he knew it was the date until I told him this morning!) 

And here’s the crazy part:

I never asked him to quit. I never hinted. I never suggested. In fact, when I started my journey, I wanted this for me, not him.  He didn’t get sick, and he had better moderation than me. But once I started to feel the shift in my life, I simply did one thing: I prayed. “Lord, change Josh’s heart towards alcohol". I never said the prayer out loud to him. He never heard me mention it.

Months went by. And one day I asked: “Do you remember the last time you had a drink?”

And he goes: “Hmm… maybe the kids’ play weekend?”

I checked the date.  Four months had passed. FOUR.

It was never a dramatic “I’m done.” It was a quiet shift. 100% a God thing.

And life? Oh my gosh… our life got SO GOOD.

Our Ski Trips Tell the Story

We love skiing. It used to look like:

Wake up slow (because… drinks last night), Ski Drink in the hot tub, Get ready, Drink at dinner, Go to bed, Repeat

Now?

Wake up, Coffee walk together. Take in the mountains. Ski all day. Quick hot tub with an alcohol-free beer. Explore, Eat dessert, Have deep conversations, Sleep well, Repeat.

The days feel twice as long. The connection feels twice as deep. And we come home completely restored. It feels like we gained hours… and clarity… back.

What Women Deserve to Know About Alcohol & Health

This part matters.  Because women are often told:

“A little is fine!”“Just drink in moderation!”

But what does moderation even mean?

The Actual Recommendation for Women

According to the CDC and the American Cancer Society:

• Women should consume no more than one drink per day

• And they now state that no amount of alcohol is “safe” for cancer risk

Alcohol is a Group 1 carcinogen —the same category as:

• Asbestos

• Tobacco

• Processed meats

For women, even “light drinking” increases risk of:

• Breast cancer

• Colorectal cancer

• Liver cancer

• Esophageal cancer

Alcohol also affects:

• Estrogen metabolism

• Fat storage

• Insulin sensitivity

• Sleep

• Cortisol

• Inflammation

And in midlife?  Your body becomes even more vulnerable. This isn’t fear-mongering. This is education.

What I Know Now

I didn’t stop drinking because I was out of control.I stopped because:

• My life feels richer.

• My relationships are genuine. 

• My faith is deeper. My mornings are clearer .

• My body is healthier.

• My calling is louder .

• My motherhood is stronger.

• My marriage is sweeter.

• My nervous system is calmer.

Becoming alcohol free (I don’t like the word sober)  didn’t take anything away from me. It gave me everything back.

The Faith Layer — The Part I Can’t Ignore

I believe God prepares us for seasons we can’t yet see.

I believe He asked me to clear the noise.

• To hear Him better.To lead better.

• To mother better.

• To steward my body better.

• To guide women with integrity.

I don’t think alcohol is sinful. I don’t think everyone needs to quit.

But for me?  It was obedience.

It was a shift in identity. A softening.A strengthening.

A deep inner knowing: “This is who you were becoming all along.”

So Why Share This Now?

Because I coach midlife women every single day…

Women who want:

• Clarity

• Energy

• Metabolic health

• Hormonal stability

• Better sleep

• Better relationships

• A more intentional life

And they’re unknowingly sabotaging themselves with something sold as “normal.”

This isn’t about perfection. This isn’t about moral superiority. This isn’t about shame.

• It’s about FREEDOM.

• It’s about intentionality.

• It’s about longevity.

• It’s about living your life with FULL access to yourself.

It’s about becoming the woman God has been shaping you into, not the woman society expects you to be.

If You’re Local… I Quietly Invite You

If you’re in central Indiana, I want to gently — and proudly — invite you into something brand new I’m hosting:

THE DRY COLLECTIVE

A modern, zero-proof wellness gathering for women who want to start the new year feeling clear, connected, and empowered.

Whether you’re:

• Sober-curious

• Taking a break

• Exploring Dry January

• Or simply wanting one intentional night without alcohol

You belong here.

We’ll gather, learn, sip zero-proof drinks, and connect deeply — with no pressure and no labels.

Final Thoughts

If alcohol is something you feel tugged to explore…pay attention.

If it’s something you want to scale back on…you can.

If you’re questioning your relationship with it… You’re not alone.

And if you want to step into greater strength, clarity, purpose, and peace?

There is so much life waiting on the other side of that decision.

I’m here to walk with you.

I’m here to tell the truth.

I’m here to guide you with compassion and conviction.

And maybe — just maybe —this is your whisper too.

Sober / Alcohol-Free Q&A

(For women who are curious, exploring, or quietly questioning)

Do I have to quit drinking completely to benefit from drinking less?

Absolutely not. For many women, the biggest improvements come from simply removing alcohol 2–3 nights a week, or doing short alcohol-free “eras” to reset their body and brain.Less alcohol =

• Better sleep

• Clearer skin

• Fewer cravings

• More stable moods

• Calmer nervous system

You don’t need a label. You don’t need another rule. You just need awareness.

How do I know if alcohol is affecting me more now than it used to?

If you’re in your late 30s or 40s and suddenly notice:

• Worse hangovers

• Anxiety the next day

• Middle-of-the-night waking

• Inflammation/puffiness

• Mood swings

• Irritability

• Headaches

• Breast tenderness…that’s not “aging.

”That’s hormones + histamine + alcohol colliding. Your tolerance changes in perimenopause — dramatically.

What if my spouse or friends still drink?

Totally normal. You don’t have to make an announcement, take a stand, or convert anyone. Most women do alcohol-free living quietly, privately, and gracefully.  Sometimes relationships shift a little, and often they deepen. Your journey is your journey. 

What’s the easiest first step if I’m sober-curious?

Try one intentional night without alcohol and pay attention to:

• How you sleep

• How do you feel waking up

• How your anxiety changes

• How clear does your mind feel

This is why I created The Dry Collective — a space to try this without pressure or labels. If you’re local to central Indiana, you’re invited. Quietly. Truly. You belong.